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(fuente: bridgejokes.blogspot.com)

                  (source: bridgejokes.blogspot.com)

Memoria Finita

"Como va a hacerme el Bridge mas inteligente? Cada vez que aprendo algo nuevo, me desaloja algo viejo de mi cerebro. Te acordas de que cuando tome el curso de vinos...me olvide de como se maneja?"
Finite Memory

"And how is Bridge supposed to make me smarter? Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"
 
Huh?

"Siempre llego tarde para mi Bridge, pero lo compenso... dejando muy tarde la mesa...
Huh?

"I always arrive late for my Bridge, but I make up for it by leaving late
Cuanta Verdad

El cerebro es un órgano maravilloso. Comienza a funcionar ni bien uno se despierta y no para hasta que uno se sienta en la mesa de bridge
.
How True

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you sit at the bridge table.
No tan Inteligente

Un hombre se acerca a una mesa donde están jugando 3 hombres y un perro, que jugaba muy concentrado.

"Este debe ser un perro muy inteligente," comento el hombre"...No tan inteligente...contesto el compañero del perro, "Se olvido de desbloquear el as en un Coup de Viena en la ultima mano.”
Not That Smart

A man walked by a table where 3 people were playing bridge with a dog, which was playing with extraordinary concentration.

"This must be a very smart dog," the man commented"Not so smart," said the dog’s partner, "He forgot to unblock the ace in a straightforward Vienna Coup in the last hand.”
 Experto de Bridge

Un experto de
Bridge es una persona que puede decirle mas de lo que UD quiere escuchar de este juego.
Bridge Expert

A Bridge Expert is a person who can tell you more about the game than you really care to know.
Dos Reinas

P. Hal Sims era uno de los miembros del equipo  “The 4 Horsemen” – un equipo que gano eventos mayores en los años 30.

 

Hoy se lo recuerda por su increíble habilidad para leer el lenguaje corporal de sus opps. El decía que nunca se equivocaba cuando tenia una finesse para cualquiera de los dos lados.


Un día sus amigos le tendieron una trampa y prepararon una mano con una finesse para ambos lados en el palo de triunfo. El miro a ambos opps intensamente e increíblemente dijo “Dios... – ambos tienen la dama!”

No es necesario decir que esta era la trampa preparada, habían agregado una dama en las dos manos para que el perdiera independientemente de para que lad la hiciera.


La leyenda de la lectura corporal de P. Hal Sims, se mantiene firme e intacta.
 

Two Timing Queen

P. Hal Sims was one of “The 4 Horsemen” – a team that won several major tournaments in the 1930s. Nowadays, he is mainly remembered for his incredible ability to read the body language of his opponents and, by so doing, made the extraordinary claim that he could never ever misguess the queen in a 2-way finesse position.

One day, his friends played a trick on him and set up a hand where there was a 2-way finesse in the trump suit. He gazed at both opponents intently and then made the incredible statement “Goddamn it – they’ve both got the queen!”

Needless to say, this was the trick his friends were trying to pull on him. They inserted an extra Queen in the rigged hand, so that whichever way he finessed, he would lose.
The record of P. Hal Sims, body language reader extrodinaire, remains firmly intact.
 
Quien!

Erik y su equipo acababa de ganar la Bermuda Bowl. El vuelve a casa y va a su club para jugar al bridge. En la mitad del juego, esta compitiendo en espadas contra sus opps. que estaban subastando en corazón. Finalmente, el pone de una forma muy firme el cartón de 3 espadas sobre la mesa como para que no le doblen. No funciona...los opps doblan el contrato.

Erik mira al jugador que le doblo y dice: "UD sabe quien soy yo?'
 

El jugador le contesta: "Si, yo se quien es UD."


Erik dice: "UD sabe cuantos masterpoints tengo?"


El jugador le contesta "No, pero UD sabe cuantas cartas de espadas tengo en mi mano?"

Sezs Who!

Erik and his team had just won the World Championships. He returned to his hometown and went to his local club for a game of bridge. About midway through the game, he is competing in spades against the opponents, who were bidding hearts. Finally, he yanks out the 3S bid from the bidding box and slaps it on the table loudly, so he won't get doubled. It doesn't work. His opponent doubles.

Erik looks at him and says: "Do you know who I am?'


The guy says: "Yes I know who you are."


Erik says: "Do you know how many masterpoints I have?"


The guy says, "No, but do you know how many spades I have?"
 

Humildad

La Humildad es algo extraño – en el momento que UD cree tenerla, desaparece!
Humility

Humility is a strange thing – the moment you think you have it, you have lost it!
 Lamento de Novicio

“Todos los torneos de bridge en los que he participado tienen 3 elementos en común – un comienzo optimista, una mitad dura y un final espantoso”
Novice’s Lament

“All the bridge tournaments I have participated in have 3 things in common – an optimistic beginning, a tough middle and a lousy end”