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the story of tables and chairs

                                                   by Bernard Marcoux, Montréal



In the world of bridge, everyone knows there are tables and chairs. 


But did you know tables look down on chairs ? 


Tables are snob, that I learned in the last tournament.  One afternoon, I played in a 3-way and my team lost. 


That evening, a player asked another player (member of the team that had beat us) :


-          Who did you beat this afternoon ?

-          8 chairs, was the response.


That is when I learned that tables don’t have a very high opinion of chairs.


Well, the night after that, this TABLE arrived at my chair (what can I say ?).


First board : TABLE’s partner opened 1 Precision, and all passed. 


My chair lead a diamond and we collected 12 out of 18 for down 2.


Second board : my chair opened 1NT and it went pass, pass, 2 (hearts and spades). 


I passed, the TABLE  passed and my partner doubled.  The chairs defended well, sitting on their tricks (what can one do on a

 chair ?) and earned 16/18.


Third board :  TABLE’s partner tried a curve ball that didn’t curve.  How can a flat table think of throwing a curve ball ?


North chair





Pitcher                                                 table

J52                                                      K9843

3                                                         J1096

K92                                                    QJ87

KQ10632                                            --

South chair






South chair                           Pitcher                   North chair                           Table

1                                          2 (!)                     double                                   4

4                                          pass                       pass                                       4

double                                   5                          pass                                       5

double                                   pass


When the curve ball pitcher bid 5, the TABLE, who should have passed on 4, unless he takes his partner for a chair, took a very

aggressive tone.  With the years, chairs have been able to understand the TABLE’s language.


- You have no right to bid.  Once you bid 2, it’s my show, you’re out of the picture.


The chairs collected 15/18, for a total of 43 out of 54 matchpoints.


The Table left his chair (oops!) without saying a word.  A Table hates looking like a chair.


Chairs of the world, beware : don’t let one victory go to your head and make you think you are a TABLE.