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Bridge & Humor


Source:  Bridge Jokes Blog click here



Deafening Silence


Wayne was talking to a doctor about his bridge partner "Doctor, I think my bridge partner is deaf because she never hears my bid and I always have to repeat things."

"Well," the doctor replied, "The next time you play bridge, bid normally. If she doesn't reply, say it louder and louder. Keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the severity of her deafness."

Sure enough, the next time they played Rubber Bridge, he does exactly as instructed. He starts off saying “One Spade”.  He hears no response. He says it louder “ONE SPADE”. Still no reply. And again “ONE SPADE”! He gets fed up and screams at the top of his voice “SHERYL! I’M BIDDING ONE SPADE”! 

Sheryl picks up a pen and writes down "For the fourth time, One No Trump" 

Running Hot & Cold

Sheryl: Can't play bridge tonight. I have a really bad cold"

Wayne: Try drinking a big glass of fresh orange juice after a hot bath.

Sheryl: uh ... Ok ... I'll try anything

…..the next day…

Wayne: Hi Sheryl … Well, did it help?

Sheryl: How should I know? I haven't even finished drinking the bath yet!"

Running Wild

Wayne “Doctor, my memory is failing and I cannot remember the cards when I play Bridge.”

Doctor “If you want to improve your memory and your concentration, you need to get some exercise. A healthy body leads to a healthy mind. Run 10 kilometers a day.”

Two weeks later, Wayne calls the doctor.

Doctor "Have you done what I told you?”

Wayne “Yes doc, I’ve followed your instruction exactly.”

Doctor “So has your memory and concentration improved since 2 week ago?"

Wayne “I don't know, I'm 140 kilometers away from my Bridge Club"


Amnesia Double

Amnesia Double: When you make a lead directing double when you are going to be on the opening lead


Home Sweet Home

Wayne “I get a really bad headache after a long bridge tournament”.

Joe “Do what I do. I put my head on my wife's bosom, and the headache goes away."

… The next day …

Joe "Did you do what I told you to do?"

Wayne "Sure did and it works! By the way, you have a nice house!"



Bridge partners are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the available ones are handicapped.